It's been three years since I talked to him - and I miss him so.
It's such a common occurance for anyone who loves - that feeling of absolute despair when they are gone from you. Our brains function on electric signals, nerves firing off. Grief could power homes for lifetimes if we could just learn how to harness it.
My dear uncle Frank (who is not really my uncle) shared his hindu wisdom to me one particularly bad day. That the body is only a vessel, and it was holding him back. How amazing for him now to be free of it and to do what he wishes. Another woman, a tarot card reader, told me he was happy - he was fishing! How could I be sad then? Still, I miss his voice, his letters, the feel of his hugs. I suppose I'm selfish, but I would give a lot to see him.
Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. Henry David Thoreau
What do you do when a physical record of human atrocity deteriorates on it's own?
Do you save it as it is right now as is? Do you recreate it to show it how it was? Or simply let it go?
In Poland today, weather, age, and visitors are all taking it's toll on the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp.
According to the director of the memorial, Piotr Cywinski, some 200 million zloty ($96.5 million) is currently needed for repairs. The budget this UNESCO world heritage site and museum gets annually from the Polish government is 10 million zloty per year, and another 10 million is earned from the sale of books and fees for tours and parking.
Exhibits like the two tons of hair shorn from women are fading away into dust. Gas chambers are crumbling into the earth. Even the granite stairs in Nazi headquarters are bowing.
In college, I did extensive research on ethics in World War II. A lot of what I read, wrote, and chose to learn about reflected my interest in humanity. I became misanthropic. For years, I studied how people could become monsters, forced and chosen. But I also learned how they could also rise up and fight. And how they could become guardian angels when confronted with simple ethical dilemmas. There lay the gray foundation to everything human. One of my favorite sayings still is "Hang on tightly. Let go lightly." To know when to hold fast and know when to accept it is gone.
It would be so easy to do nothing and simply let nature take over to erase this dark time. How much does preserving Auschwitz prevent genocides like Bosnia, Rowanda and Darfur from happening? Sadly, it's in our genetic make-up to conquer. That doesn't mean we don't strive to be better. That too is coiled around in our genes.
Washington DC's Holocaust Museum did an amazing job in recreating the mood. But even then, everything is shiny, new and smells clean. It's not the same.
If the international community doesn't make an effort to continue to maintain it - it will either cost much more (eventually) to restore it - or be gone completely. Some 22 million visitors — 700,000 annually—passed through the iron gate crowned with the motto "Arbeit macht frei".
The people who were here are all gone. We have some photos of their faces and bodies which you can see in books and online. But to fully feel and know in your bones what humanity is capable of, we need to preserve what is left - to see, to touch, to hear what we as humans are capable of, both good and bad. We are so often prone to arrogance and excuses when confronted with difficulty. These ruins and relics are soon to be all that remain and we should treasure them closely lest we forget.
For years, we were told we were unpatriotic. If we disagreed with what our government was doing, then we should shut up and get out. We were un-American. For so many years, we lived with a heavy heart and a feeling of absolute helplessness while act after horrific act was done under our flag. With the election of the first Bush win and my first vote cast for president defeated, I felt democracy was not afforded for a minority like myself. Only when Clinton was voted in did I start to feel hope and see changes for the better. With the return of the next Bush president and the eight years of ass-backwards words and actions, I became even more ashamed and even afraid for my safety to admit to being American when I went abroad.
I know there are people in this world who abhor the idea of Obama being in power. He is a democrat, he is black, he is different from them. And for this I pray daily for his safety and for their awakening. I try and remember that feeling of being represented by someone who did not share my beliefs and for just a moment I empathize. Then I remember this amazing, AMAZING feeling of hope that I can only wish for all people. A feeling of brightness in a dark world.
We know he is just a man and not a god, and that it may take some time to get results. Bu there is nothing but joy from feeling a part for the first time really, at something good for the world. The fact that he is from Hawai'i gives me such confidence in his abilities. Knowing that his experiences of being a mixed race like myself. Knowing that his ideals grow from the same place as mine and that he understand what Aloha means. That he was raised by his tutu (grandmother) and has respect for those who came before him also pleases me so. I am so excited to be represented finally, to fully know what it means and be proud to be an American.
Along with Walt Kelly, there are really no other cartoonists who have touched me quite like Charles Schultz. He was humble, a hard worker, fine craftsman, and a huge supporter of the arts. He was a lonely guy, afraid to be too happy in case something might take it away - which I completely get.
He also did a lot of research, his references to classical music, sports, and medicine are all correct, so much so that a whole exhibit has just been opened regarding Schroeder and Beethoven.
Charles "Sparky" Schultz passed away in 2000 but his legacy lives on in so many artists. His museum is here.
I've been going through my album and came across last year's trip to Miniature World in Victoria, Canada. I don't think I posted these before and reviewing them again made me so happy - I thought I would share. Not sure what it is about miniatures that I've always been attracted to. As you peer into windows and glimpses of the fake people's lives, you can't help but feel omnipresent. My only complaint was that I ran out of batteries for my camera just as I made it to the elephant parade in the "Big Top/World's Greatest Show" part of the museum. Ah - next time.
Most of the mini displays focused on big action events like World War I and II. The gorey details in both were quite impressive. There was also life in the pioneering west and in the city.
Here are more from my day...
Sorry for the delay in blogging, it's been a difficult time in the household.
First - Mr.Owen Fluoride came down with an ear infection/toothache/tumor or something to make him stop eating and present a head tilt. Poor fella. He's had a smattering of tests done and lost weight and is not eating or drinking much. Twice a day, the Mister and I force banana flavored antibiotic into his little fuzzy mouth. He hates it - but the head tilt is straightening out. Now if he would only stop taking revenge on my books. So far he's eaten a hardcover copy of Faulkner's "Intruder in the Dust" and an Ian McEwan first edition of "Amsterdam". He won't eat his food, but he wants to chew.
What could it be... Lupus? We need Dr. House!
Oh, and second - Me - I had a bad neck freak out and unable to move my neck without whimpering, went to a new chiropractor. Little did I know Dr. Reid is the Portland's female roller derby league the Rose City Rollers own, Doc Bones.
(this is not me)
A very nice guy, with nice hair and arm tats but also SUPER professional. In my agony, he did not mock me and was patient letting me hyperventilate and giggle uncontrollabley in pain as I tried to simply lay face down on the adjusto bed, my face even in the hole lined with paper. He assured me I would be okay and told me a calming personal story about swimming with turtles to relax me. Very cool. I'm usually VERY nervous about new chiros since I believe they could seriously snap your neck if they went to the dark side. Not Dr. Reid though - I trust him. RECOMMENDED Bridgetown Chiropractic.